BLUE COUP D’ETAT

Have love in your heart but wait to fall in love, dance with someone who wants to dance with you and be ready when they come arms out stretched because you know what it is to want with no response, to fly into flame instead of the warmth, the tenderness that the oblivious flame resembles as it shines and dances so vibrantly but the coldness is in the oblivious, the unconcerned, the unattracted and the flame is snuffed out entirely by the raging winds that try to possess it instead of seeing by its light, blowing softly on the light so it dances with joy instead of disappearing forever into the thinnest of air.

Comparisons are inevitable but useless. A man must be his own man, no other.

Can do so much and feel as though I’ve done nothing. Attacked by the need to see results but quick results are phantoms, heavy images built on nothing, sinking into nothing.

Essence of discipline–enforcement or enactment of what you feel to be right.

Intent involves planning, execution requires discipline, identification compels thought and deserves benign but truthful criticism.

When I draw up plans for a magnificent structure it is hard to begin with the foundation because there is the desire to realize the subtleties. Must make what is common to all strong before indulging in the details.

Work is essential, a rhythm, a refuge but can’t be used as a crutch. No hiding–work winds the clock but I do the ticking.

When I know what needs to be done, do it instead of diluting and confusing my resolve by getting the opinions of others and dwelling.

The tough maxims and explanations of philosophy are harsh comfort in the face of overwrought emotion.

My niece Sydney

This is the second of a collection of short experimental films that I made with Steve Hidinger and Zach Schethren.

This is a thought that I had sometime ago when I first moved to New York and was feeling oh so alone:

I’m a ghost outside of my room, people pass by quick and oblivious. Habit alone keeps me from walking through walls.

Standing outside of Shinjuku Station conjured a similiar feeling.

This is one of a collection of short experimental films that I made with Steve Hidinger and Zach Schethren.

FADE UP: Standing above the muddy Uptown banks of the Hudson River–New York City, Fall 1999.

It is remarkable how I can get caught up in irrelevant thoughts. Sidetracked as though I’m on the verge of finding the cure to IT when in fact I am just thinking about whatever will keep me from doing what I need to do. The mind is deceptive but I find it strange how it fights against itself, another paradox. My mind creates ideas and then it tries to come up with every reason possible for me to avoid following through, to keep the idea an idea rather than turn it into action. Discipline again; steps, goals, deadlines. Build the steps and walk right up or try to jump up a fifty foot wall, that is the choice.

CUT TO: Five years later standing before the Temple of Luck under construction–Tokyo, Japan.

The heavens weep for me and make the night an inky black shiney mess, my prayer lost on the pink lips of Shinjuku.