BLUE COUP D’ETAT

The train was being held when I arrived breathlessly. A woman hastily vacated her seat so I sat down thinking, “What luck” until I realized that I was sitting across from the reason they were holding up the train: a deranged looking man who would suddenly shout, “Stay the fuck away from me!” or “Leave me alone, just leave me alone god dammit!” Of course no one was within two seats of him and I was under the impression that this was rather tame behavior compared to earlier antics. At any rate he had really pissed off the guy sitting to his left who suddenly said, “You better chill the fuck out”. The conductor was so pissed off that, in the midst of telling the guy that we weren’t leaving until he exited the train, he threatened to kick his ass. He was a macho Hispanic guy and he said, “If you keep yelling at everybody, I’m gonna kick your ass”, which just caused the man to fume and curse even more, waving his arms through the thick air of the summer subway car and shouting, “Get this shit going!” After a few more minutes of this the conductor came out again and told him that we were just waiting for the police to arrive and “escort you off the train” to which the man shook his head in dismay and for a moment I thought he would change his tune but he looked up and said, “Why don’t you suck my ass?” before huffing off the train in the fumes of his own anger, choking with rage and hurling his anger upon the empty subway platform. The conductor watched him leave with satisfaction and with every taunt and insult that the man threw at him the conductor responded, “Yeah you say that as you leave. Real tough guy. If I wasn’t working I’d whip your ass.”